Lame Joke Award

I had to write a special occasion speech for class, and decided ot have some fun with it.

"Thank you and welcome to the Comedy Awards, brought to you by the Idaho Comedy Commission (ICC). The ICC has long been a promoter of high quality, laughter-inducing humor, and as a result has sponsored tonight’s ceremony. Many awards will be given tonight, from the Wit Award, to the Facial Expressions Award, to the Klutz Award. But for the first time tonight, we will be adding a new award to our selection.
After years of eye-rolling and sighs of despair, the Idaho Comedy Commission felt it necessary to recognize the sincere efforts of comedians who never seem to be able to arouse more than a blank stare from their audience. The Lame Joke Award has come about out of sheer sympathy, in efforts to make the Comedy Awards a less depressing event. Our recipient tonight is a student at ICC (Itawamba Community College). This person was neck and neck with several other candidates, but her joke about the man who had to break into his music store because he had the wrong key, along with her French Cows joke, nailed the lid shut on that coffin. Ladies and gentlemen, my sincerest apologies on bringing those jokes back to your attention. And now, the Idaho Comedy Commission, with moderate pride, presents the Lame Joke Award to none other than Sarah Shields."